


I Don't Want You.

by faliceplease



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2017-05-15
Packaged: 2018-04-12 04:10:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 22,458
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4464983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/faliceplease/pseuds/faliceplease
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>She didn't like him, that was for sure. </p><p>Yet their lips had met, </p><p>And she didn't know what that meant.</p><p>(Or when Gemma and Louis aren't exactly dating, but that one New Years kiss is still on their minds.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is just an idea I've wanted to get out there for a while. Bit nervous about sharing it, but let's see how it goes.

The travel always came with a price. One moment you'd be having the time of your life, and the next you'd be huddled in a heap of exhaustion vowing you'd never travel again. That wasn't the case though, because without fail every year they'd be on the road again, touring the world alongside of the people they called family, the people the rest of the world saw as mega stars. They were just the goofy sibling you've always known, at least somewhere hidden behind the pop star exterior. 

For Gemma it was a new adventure every day, she'd wake up to new challenges and go to bed with even more to focus on the next morning. It was a struggle having to maintain her body clock and manoeuvre appropriate visiting time with her over enthusiastic brother, and her sometimes less enthusiastic toddler best friend. 

It was the times when Louis' sister Charlotte accompanied her, when Gemma was most keen. She was constantly back seated by the testosterone that plagued the tour, and was left practically scratching her own eyes out, itching for some female company. The age difference didn't matter when all you wanted to do was gossip and chatter about life with another female. 

They'd make a day of painting each other's nails, shopping or just gossiping in their hotel suites. They'd take Lux out for ice cream, and giggle uncontrollably as the youngster's mother complained about how she couldn't sleep a wink, having a hyperactive child in her bed squirming all night long. It was good old fashioned fun, and Gemma loved it. 

The blonde pair were walking the halls of their hotel, the slightly taller of the two was in the middle of telling a funny story she'd promised to tell early in the evening. The pair started to giggle and Gemma ran her newly manicured fingers through her highlighted waves of hair. She let out a yawn and followed the younger girl into the elevator, it was late, which meant Gemma's body clock was all out of whack. She was tired beyond comprehension so she leaned over to rest her head against Lottie's shoulder. "Wake me when we get there." She mumbled tiredly, feeling as though she might actually collapse from exhaustion before they travelled the six floors back to their level. 

Lottie simply hummed in response, tapping her nails against the railing they were pressed against. She looked upwards to the mirrored ceiling, realising her eye make up had smudged, she let out a small curse word and tried to wipe away the black mess that clouded just below her eyes. She played with her hair, tussling her golden locks one last time before the beeping of the elevator chimed. They'd stopped and be doors were separating to open. "Come on salt, we're here." She murmured, nudging the reluctant older female until Gemma was standing up and cursing beneath her breath. 

As soon as they had stepped out of the metal cages of the elevator, and onto the soft carpeted halls. Music swelled into their ears, it wasn't uncommon for this to happen. They'd have the entire floor to themselves, and most of the boys loved to rush between rooms, showing off their latest gadgets and whatnot. Gemma let out a frustrated sound and turned to try and figure out which door the music was blasting from. "If I don't get any sleep, I'll kill them." She told Lottie with an exhausted laugh. 

Gemma stepped around the carpet, trying to guess which door the sounds were wafting from, she stopped in front of the culprit's door and rolled her eyes. Of course it was Louis' door, she should have known really. She raised her balled fist and started pounding on the door, motioning for the younger Tomlinson to come and stand with her. She figured he would be more likely to change his tune if his dear little sister was standing along side of her. 

The door remained closed, she frowned and started banging again and again, until her fist almost collided with the poor sod who opened the door. "Can I help you ladies?" The man questioned, and Gemma groaned at the stench that wafted through her anger flared nostrils. She looked past the door greeter, one of Louis' many friends who she could never remember the names for. She spotted Louis sitting on the bed, she pushed his friend aside from the door, not realising that dear little sister was right on her tail. 

"It smells revolting in here." Lottie spoke softly, and Gemma turned around. "Don't breathe in too much of it." She warned, walking the extra steps into the messy hotel suite. 

"What have I done to deserve a visit from the lovely Gemma?" Louis asked her with a big fat smirk pressed against his lips. His hands were firmly clutching a plastic instrument he probably never expected his younger sister to see him with. His eyes fell to the girl standing behind the lovely Gemma, and he shook his head. 

"Shit." He let out with an embarrassed laugh, pushing the bong behind him and into the hands of one of his friends. "Where have you been this evening? You look tired. Probably should get to bed. Yeah?" He spoke softly, looking directly at his younger sister. Lottie just nodded her head, leaning up against Gemma who was still standing there clearly annoyed. 

"Look, we just came here to ask you to turn down the music. We're heading to bed now." Gemma told him, meeting his eye for a moment. He nodded straight away, eyeing her body up and down before nodding yet again. 

"We can do that, can't we lads?" He asked nobody in particular. He stood up, crumbs falling from his tank top as he did so. He walked past the two girls and straight over to the stereo, switching the volume down a few notches. Gemma shook her head, and he laughed, switching them down a few more. He cocked his head to the side, silently asking if it was satisfactory in his own smart arsed way. 

She nodded her head, wrapped her arm around Lottie's shoulders without saying a word. 

*** 

"Gemma!" Louis hollered as he skated down the concrete flooring. She turned around and stopped, crossing her arms over her chest. "Yeah?" She asked curiously as Louis stumbled off of his board, his feet clapped loudly against the floor as he steadied himself. 

His hair was shaggy, sweating underneath the Snap Back that was nearly covering his bed head. He smiled at her, and folded his board underneath his arm. "Sorry about last night." He started, biting down on his bottom lip. Gemma simply nodded, she knew he was only embarrassed because his sister saw him in that state. He was always so careful about how he acted in front of his siblings. Especially Lottie when she came on tour. 

"It's whatever, you turned it down when I asked. We are square." She told him blankly dropping her hands down to her sides, she was over it, but yet she still didn't approve of the way Louis spent his nights off. He was always staying up all night, getting high or drunk, and just being somebody he wasn't. At least that's how she saw it. 

He nodded his head towards the stadium, flicking his fringe so it was no longer sweeping across his big blue eyes. "Are you headed inside?" He questioned, smiling across at the slightly older woman. Gemma nodded her head as she turned around, it's where she had been headed, she'd only been walking outside to find a better phone signal, otherwise that's where she would already be, backstage with everyone else. There were still a few more hours until sound check, which meant that they had a bit of time to kill as they waited. Louis started walking across the concrete path, not bothering to wait or turn to see if Gemma was following him in. 

*** 

Gemma was sitting down on the carpeted floors, she was leaning back against an office chair, as two tiny hands flicked through her locks. Lux had given up on the hair brush and had moved onto massaging her head instead. Gemma didn't mind, she adored this child to pieces. She closed her eyes and relaxed as the three year old began telling her a mumbled story, half of which made no sense at all. Gemma had mastered the skill of knowing when to nod her head, or when to answer with a non specific response, it worked 99% of the time, the other 1% was dramatic, but extremely rare. She tipped her head back, smiling with all her teeth on display as Lux looked down at her. "Does it feel lovely?" She asked Gemma, who opened her eyes and smiled again. 

"Very lovely. You're proper talented at this." She assured her favourite youngster. Lux seemed to be impressed by this response. She then picked up her hairbrush and started brushing the spikes through Gemma's wavy mess of shaded hair. "Very smooth." She commented a few times. It became apparent that she'd stopped paying attention once the backside of the brush smacked Gemma straight on her exposed forehead. She looked up, and snorted, Harry had just walked in, clearly her enthusiastic hair dresser had found someone newer and shinier to cast her attentions to. She smiled and watched as the little girl rushed over to the tall man, Gemma's little brother. 

Harry's ripped jeans ripped a little more as he bent down, his knees cracked as he scooped the small body up into his arms. The sound of childish giggles filled the air, and Gemma stood up, running her fingers through her knotted hair as she walked over to the pair. "Harry, don't be too rough, she'll throw up her dinner." She warned her brother, who had tipped the girl upside down and thrown her over his broad shoulder. 

Harry cocked his head to the side and turned around as if he was trying to find her. "Where did she go?" He asked Gemma, who smiled at his games. 

She placed a hand on her hip, watching as Lux squirmed inside the man's arms. She was trying to show him where she was, giggling at the very thought that Harry didn't know where she was hiding. Harry continued this charade, asking everyone in the room if they'd seen the little girl. Including Louis who had just walked in with a plastic cup filled with water. "Have you tried looking in that cupboard over there? Thought I heard some giggling from in there!" He suggested as he walked past, he took a sip from his drink and circled his way around the snack table, grabbing handfuls of cookies and crackers, even folding his shirt up into a kind of pouch, stocking it up with various foods. He bit down on the edge of his cup so he could use two hands and Gemma watched this from afar. 

This was interrupted by a loud yell, Harry had apparently found Lux by then, and Gemma's heart was warned by the excited giggles as the young girl exclaimed trying to tell Harry that she had been right there the whole time. 

 

*** 

The thing was, it had been awkward between Gemma and Louis for quite some time. A drunken kiss shared on New Years had made everything change. Gemma didn't know what Louis remembered, but she remembered all of it. It made her distant, it made her hate being in the same room as him. Yet when she was, she wondered if he remembered it, wondered if he even cared. 

It was stupid to worry so much about the pot smoking idiot who worked with her brother, it was stupid to be concerned. But she felt as though she just needed closure so that she could stop thinking about it, so she could stop worrying about how awkward things were between them. She didn't want it to be like this, she didn't want to leave rooms whenever he walked in, or sit there with a frown on her face. She didn't like it, she hates that. She wished the kiss never happened so that she could just exist on the same tour as him without having this unwanted feeling of discomfort every time he said her name. She hated the sight of him, she hated those big blue eyes, and the stubble resembling eyebrows that sat atop of his lips. She hated him. Truly. 

She hadn't told a soul about New Years, it had been months ago, but she remained tight lipped, even sitting backstage, as he rushed past her needing to pee. She just stared at her shoes, not wanting to acknowledge him at all. It was the first time she's seen him since New Years, this tour. And he still acted so casual, so annoyingly casual and she hated it. She hated his life style and his attitude and the way he's been sleeping around lately. She doesn't know how much of it is true, not trusting the media at all, but she's seen girls leaving his hotel this past week, pretty girls, pretty hung-over girls. It didn't take much to put two and two together.


	2. 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tell me what you think!

A different city, a different story: that’s how Gemma wanted to live, that’s how she wanted to feel as their plane landed. It was cold out, but only because it was late in the evening. She could hear the boisterous sounds of rowdy males as they started shuffling around to grab their bags. It wasn’t like she hadn’t been through this before. She shut off her IPod and turned around in her seat. Lux had just woken up from the noise, her tired little eyes flickered a few times before she sat up groggily and reached out for her other. Gemma offered to carry her, but the young girl was too tired and disrupted to accept that offer.   
Louis’ friends had all flown home earlier, so he was mucking about with Niall and Liam instead, it was the first time they’d all flown together in the same plane this trip, so they were excited and all that. Gemma probably would have been the same if she were surrounded by her friends, or maybe if she was a little younger. Right now she felt nothing but groggy, wanting nothing but to jump into her new bed, to be swallowed by the sheets and make love to the mattress as she closed her eyes and tried to find a dream.  
It felt like a sleep walk as she ghosted out of that plane, her pillow was hugged against her chest, the breeze flew through her messy waves of dyed hair. She had been too lazy to style it before the plane, and right now she didn’t care that her untamed mane might be plastered all over the internet later. She could worry about that later.   
Laughter erupted through her ears; human instinct told her to turn around, only to find Liam and Louis trying to pick each other up at the same time. She didn’t quite understand what this was supposed to achieve, she really had no clue. She watched for a moment as Liam snatched Louis’ sneaker straight off of his foot and flung it across the tarmac. She turned back around, not bothering to get involved in their childish games. Usually she’d laugh along, usually she’d call out some insult towards the eldest of the two, but she wasn’t in the mood.   
Harry snaked his arm around her shoulder, his body was long and gangly, their steps didn’t match but it was comfort all the same. His warmth made her feel at home, even though they were across the globe, Harry was the one thing that she was never too tired of, even when they were fighting.   
They walked in silence for a moment, until small chuckles fell from Harry’s lips. Gemma looked across at him, confusion clouding her mind. “What’s so funny?” She questioned, clearly not getting the joke.  
Harry didn’t say anything, instead he pulled out a shoe from his jacket, the very same shoe Louis was cursing Liam for losing in the background.   
***   
The four of them sat outside a cafe the following morning, Harry’s legs were like mountain waterfalls falling out between each side of his chair, Lux sat proudly on her very own chair as Lou wiped her jam covered face with a napkin.   
“You’re very messy.” She told her daughter, who couldn’t care less about the food stains across the entire lower part of her face.   
Harry and Gemma exchanged a look between them, chuckling together in sync as they watched the little one in admiration. She was happily playing a game on her mother’s phone, it kept her occupied, and it made sure the three adults could get in a conversation that didn’t involve minions or princesses.   
Gemma swiftly passed her phone across the table once Lou’s hands were free. She scrolled through the photos until she had found the picture in question. Lou nodded her head and zoomed in to look at the photograph.   
“I was thinking we could do that, only a little bit darker.” Gemma suggested, fingering her way through her hair. She wanted a change, and Lou had offered to take care of it for her whilst they sat either side of the sleeping princess on the plane. Harry placed his fork down onto his plate with a loud crash as he leaned across to take a look at the photo. He scrunched up his face and looked over to his sister.  
“Why would you want that, you’ll look like a blueberry.” He teased her, nudging her with his shoulder. Gemma was used to this, used to Harry making fun of her hair choices, but he wasn’t going to change her mind. This was what she wanted, she wanted a change and there was nobody on the planet who could change that for her. Nobody.   
***   
The afternoon sun was flooding the room, Gemma was sitting on the closed toilet as her hair dye was setting in her hair. She scrolled through her facebook, liking a few posts here and there as she was bored out of her mind. Lux was in the next room watching cartoons, every so often she’d shout out, asking Gemma if her hair was finished yet, and of course each time she asked it had only been less than a minute since she had asked beforehand. “Not yet!” Gemma shouted out for the sixth time, a smile on her lips as she did so.   
Lou walked straight past her and stood in front of the mirror, she fiddled with one of the braids in her hair, straightened her tank top and walked over to Gemma, she played with the foils she’d placed in the younger woman’s hair, checking on the dye. It had only been fifteen minutes since she’d put it in, but she wanted to make sure everything was working out. “It’s looking good Gem. Tell me if it stings too much, right?” She told her, folding the foil back up as she spoke.   
“Louise!” A familiar chatty voice bellowed out from inside the other room. Louis was only announcing himself because last time he hadn’t, and he’d seen a little more of the hairdresser than he’s ever wanted to, walking right in when she was in the shower.   
“What?” The blonde shouted out in an almost annoyed tone. She was merely playing though, and Gemma chuckled and turned back to her phone.   
“I need you to cut my hair.” The boy told in a whiney voice. He walked right in, wearing a sweatshirt and basketball shorts, Gemma didn’t meet his eye as he stared at her briefly, she had been stellar at pretending he didn’t exist in the past week, and it wasn’t about to change now.   
“Why do you need your hair cut? It looks fine to me.” Lou insisted, looking across at the man who was pulling at his scruffy locks. He eyeballed the mirror and smiled over at the shorter one of the two.   
“Because it looks weird, fucking fix it.” He said with a laugh, reaching across to grab a pair of her scissors, he moved it towards his own fringe as if threatening to cut it off himself. She lunged across to take control of the situation, scoffing at him.   
“You’re a bloody pain in the rear, you know that?” The question made Gemma snort from across the room. She looked up, and noticed Louis was looking at her again, an amused look on his face, a smile across his lips and all.  
***  
“I like your hair.” Louis told her the next time they saw each other. He was sitting down on the floor in the hallway outside of her room. His notebook sat beside him as he looked right up at her. She frowned, wondering why he was sitting outside of her room. His wasn’t even on this floor, she was confused and curious as to what she was going to do about this situation. She took her room key from her pocket and went to swipe it in her door. She didn’t feel like talking to him, not here, not now. They didn’t have anything to talk about, it was months ago, and things shouldn’t be this weird. It didn’t mean a thing, it shouldn’t mean a single thing.   
“Thanks Louis, you’re a champion.” He mimicked a female voice, obviously poking fun of Gemma’s lack of response. He grunted as he picked himself off of the floor, standing beside her as she opened her door. “Cat’s got your tongue I see.” He said in a lower tone, looking across at her as she pushed the door in, following it as she did so.   
“You can’t ignore me forever, we’re touring together, we’re going to need to talk occasionally, I hope you realise that.”   
She nodded her head and tried to close the door on him, this wasn’t how she wanted to spend her afternoon, she just wanted to lounge out, maybe take a few selfies of her new hair style, the navy blue locks that made her feel like a mermaid, Lux had even told her that she looked like one, it was all perfect unlike this very moment.   
“I’ll see you around.” She promised before the door was closed, the wall was between them and all she could do was let out a sigh.


	3. 3

New Years had been a normal night for most, a house filled with tipsy adults ready to say adios to the crappy year they'd just had, and welcome in a fresh start, a year filled with broken promises and resolutions that lasted a month at most. Gemma had been wearing her favourite jeans, which of course didn't last long before somebody had spilled beer all over the front of her. It was a nuisance, but they'd wash out, but just in case she had taken it upon herself to see what she could rinse off in the bathroom before it soaked in completely.

She scrubbed and scrubbed her jeans with a washcloth before the realisation hit her. She'd have to take them off to properly take care of it. So with a tug, and a struggle she eventually removed her skinny jeans from her legs. Standing there without trousers made her feel a bit silly, but she was in the bathroom, nobody would see her this way.

Her bracelets jingled as she washed off her jeans, she was missing out on the party, and she's probably write all about this one day in an article, but that was not the point. It was nearing midnight and she knew that she had to hurry out soon, not wanting to miss the welcoming of the new year despite how underwhelming it usually was when the clock changed over.

Music was pulsing from the party outside of the bathroom door, she quickly took a sniff of her trousers and decided it would have to be enough. She tried to wipe them off with a towel, but it was too damp to really do much about it. She slipped them back over her legs and zipped up as fast as she could, her phone clock said 11:59, and she considered this a great effort.

The bathroom was in a secluded hallway, so as she walked out it was mostly dark. She pocketed her phone and started walking back to the party, but Louis stumbled over to her, almost knocking her onto her feet. She didn't know he was even at this party, they didn't usually hang out in the same circles, only having a few mutual acquaintances at best. She smiled at him, said hello and tried to walk away. The countdown had already begun, she could hear everyone changing the numbers in descending order, right up until they landed on 2.

Louis smiled at her again, running his fingers through his hair as he did so. "It's midnight." He said in a low whisper, just smiling at her like he knew some kind of secret.

"Glad you know how to tell the time." She retorted sarcastically, giving him a smile back. He was drunk, and she could smell it on his breath, and cigarette smoke plagued a stench over his clothing. It wasn't a nice aroma, she didn't fancy it one bit. He leaned over and whispered gently towards her ear, not quite making it there before the words were coming past his lips.

"I think we are supposed to kiss now." He told her softly, pulling away slightly. She didn't know if that was something they were supposed to do, but she was drunk and he was offering and heck she didn't have anyone else to snog into the new year.

She leaned forward, Louis laughed as if he couldn't believe she was going for it. Parts of him were joking, other parts just saw a girl who he's never kissed before, a girl who he probably shouldn't be kissing. That's just it though, because they're kissing and he doesn't think twice about it. Maybe he's too drunk to think straight or maybe he's just drunk enough.

She pulled away after a moment, her fingers moved straight to her lips, curling a touch against the spot he's just been nibbling on. This wasn't something they should have done, it wasn't something either of them had planned when they'd dressed up to come to this particular party. Gemma didn't want to get caught up in Louis' drama, all his fans, all his scandals. She didn't want part of that, nor did she want to be one of those girls he sniffed at parties.

She slipped away into the crowd, and forgot that had even happened. Except she didn't forget, she couldn't forget because it did.

***

'I miss my kitty' Gemma typed into her phone, posting a tweet with an attached photograph of her little bundle of joy, she loved being on the road, she really did. Yet she did have a soft spot for home, and her kitten who was probably wondering where the hell she was.

Lux was laying on the bed beside of her, watching something on the telly. It was bright and colourful, so Gemma knew the youngster was entertained. She scrolled through some of her mentions, ignoring the ignorant and invasive tweets the best she could. She replied to a few DM messages from her friends before placing her phone down beside of her.

Lux reached over and tried to unlock the device, but she of course couldn't get through without the passcode. "You've got a good programme on the telly, you can take photos with me later. Okay?" She promised warmly as she tried to remove her phone from the young girl's clammy fingers that weren't planning on losing grip just yet. She watched as the little girl's face changed, she was upset by this rejection but Gemma knew the drill well, she couldn't just give in whenever she got upset. It was tough love, but she couldn't let those big baby eyes fool her.

Gemma frowned and finally broke her phone free from the toddler's grasp. "Don't get cross with me, it's my phone. You'll get to play with it later. I promise. Come on, let's watch the telly together instead." Lux wasn't in a forgiving mood, instead she started to sulk, burying her face into a pillow, one that almost her entire body fit on. It was almost cute how stroppy she seemed to get when things didn't go her way. Gemma didn't know if she could do it, be a mother and put up with these types of events daily. She had a glimpse of this every so often, and yeah she loved the little girl with all her heart, but it was so much easier knowing she could pass her over to her mother at the end of the day, and not have to worry about toddler tantrums and hyperactivity 24/7. 

***

It was later in the evening when Gemma was sitting with Lou watching adult telly, little miss muffet was sound asleep, and the two women were having a glass of wine each, gossiping about their lives. Lou was talking about her boyfriend, and trying to dig around to see if Gemma fancied anyone in particular. Gemma didn't really know what to say, she kept dodging around the question, not wanting to say anything she would regret with an entirely clear mind.

"Let's say there is somebody, but they're off limits and possibly not interested at all." She eventually caved, just trying to be hypothetical but it wasn't entirely working the way she wanted it to since well, it wasn't hypothetical.

Lou smiled and shrugged her shoulders. "Well if you haven't asked him, how do you know he isn't?" The question hung in the air, Gemma tried to avoid answering by taking a sip from her glass, but Lou just stared across at her, cocking her head to to side as she waited for Gemma's answer.

"Well you see, it's not exactly something you can bring up as you pass in the halls. It's got to be a proper conversation I think. Well that's how I'd go about it."

Lou nodded her head and reached across to take Gemma's hand in her own. She gave the younger girl a squeeze, a comforting one at that. "Right, well I still think if you fancy him you should speak up. You're a strong feminist woman who needs to show this boy what he is missing."

Gemma started to laugh at that, she didn't feel very strong lately. There was a point in her life when she would put herself out there without any fears, but she hated to admit it. There was this one boy who did alter that version of herself, who made her forget how to be bold like before.

She didn't like him, she didn't like him at all.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has been reading this. I know it's not a popular pairing, but I 'm having fun creating this. If you like it, please tell me! I love having motivation to keep writing.x

Sweat beads formed across his chest. Louis' groans were the loudest sounds in the room. He gripped hold of the sheets, his head buried into the pillows. His hips pushed upwards, moaning as the girl in his arms, he growled as she moved her hips against his, moving her body up and down to the steady rhythm of his own heart. He groaned loudly as she let out an unholy scream. He cursed out loudly, digging his fingers into her lily white skin, she rocked back and forth as his body erupted with a feeling he's been craving from her, a feeling that only her body could bring him.

He's left panting as she falls down flat against his chest. She's whimpering from exhaustion, her breasts enveloped against his chest, and he liked it. He let out a shaky breath before letting out a string of curse words from the tip of his tongue. "Gem. Shit." He breathed out as his hands fingered through her hair. He leaned over and pressed kisses to her bare skin, trailing across her neck and sucking softly on the corner of her shoulder.

He reached for the sheets to cover their naked bodies, but he kept moving down and down until he realised the sheets weren't there, he tossed and turned until his eyes opened, his body is a sweaty mess, his stomach is covered in a sticky problem. He rolled over to find the light switch, looking across his empty hotel room. He's all alone, Gemma isn't here, she was never there.

***  
The girls are all twirling and dancing about in the empty stadium, it's early afternoon and Gemma is dancing like there is no tomorrow, little Lux copying her every move. Her brother and co are on stage running through a rehearsal for a song they've never performed before. They're stumbling over lyrics but it's fun and everyone is having fun. Harry's standing still singing his little heart out, Louis is too busy laughing at something Liam just whispered into his ear, and Niall is playing air guitar and he's almost tripped over his mic stand twice already.

When Lottie was on tour still, Gemma would be dancing with her, taking photos and videos together as they acted silly and had the time of their lives, but Lottie had gone home already so Gemma was just dancing herself, hoping everyone was watching Lux instead of her. They were mostly, except for one pair of eyes that kept falling on her, she didn't know this of course, if she did she's most definitely stop in her tracks. She's laughing and clapping along to Lux's dance moves. She's in awe by how easy it was to be three years old, to just dance and have fun without a care in the world. She was dressed in a tutu, and a Rolling Stones tee that Harry had bought for her birthday. She looked like a proper class act. That's what Gemma thought anyway. She was head over heels for the adorable factor the little girl had going for her.

She felt a tiny pair of hands take hold of her own, she looked over at the blonde little girl and smiled widely. "What are we doing now?" She asked, since apparently Lux had a new plan for their dancing session, the pair started swaying, Lux stepping on her feet so Gemma could do all the work. She obliged obviously, dancing about with the little girl on her toes.

A squeal of delight echoed around the stadium as the boys had since finished their run through, the music died down and the two girls stopped moving. Gemma pulled her up into her arms, enveloping her into a hug as she started carrying the youngster back towards the dressing rooms. There were all kinds of people walking around, everybody had a different job, they were all here to make sure the job was done perfectly and Gemma was always amazed by how many people helped her brother's dreams come true every night. She smiled as they passed her by, saying hello to a few familiar faces as she walked down a hallway filled with doors to various rooms. Security would walk past occasionally, but she didn't mind. They were all so busy doing their jobs, and she had her own job cut out for her. She was on Lux duty, one of the best jobs out she reckoned.

She walked into the kitchen area where she sat herself down at one of the tables. The blue table cloth was so familiar, no matter where they went. This was the one thing that felt familiar, it felt like home. She smiled at the little girl who had devised climbing over each seat like stepping stones was a fun idea. "Careful." She called over, not letting her eye leave the small girl.

"You're terrible at this." Louis scoffed from behind her. He held a drink bottle in his hands, tossing it between the both of them as he stood there. Gemma just shook her head and laughed a little before returning her eyes to watch the little girl she needed to keep an eye on. It was more often than imagined that she's rush off and everyone would have to be on the lookout for the runaway toddler.

"I'm not terrible at this, I'm quite good at it actually." Gemma answered proudly. She leaned over and took the water bottle from Louis' hands, she unscrewed the cap and helped herself to a mouthful. She just prayed that it didn't have any backwash in it. Not that she hasn't had his saliva in her mouth before.

Louis chuckled and walked around the table. He took the seat directly in front of Gemma, held out his hands as his bum touched the chair. Their feet touched under the table, and his eyes didn't leave hers as she passed the bottle over. He grinned and swiftly adverts his eyes towards Lux.

"You've been avoiding me." He spoke out loud, he was still watching the little girl, but his words were aimed towards the older girl sitting opposite him. The girl he'd woken up dreaming about that very morning. He licked his lips at the memory and turned his face towards her again. He liked the way her face screwed up when she was concentrating, and right now it was doing exactly that.

"I'm not avoiding anybody. You and I have never hung out. I've been Harry's sister, and that's all. That's all I've ever been to you. Don't know why you think this trip is any different than the others." She spoke boldly, but inside everything was shaking. Her heart thrashed against her chest as she felt nerves pulse through her veins. This wasn't the type of conversation she wanted to have with him. He repulsed her in many ways, but right now he was sitting there look so smug and ridiculously annoying, and she didn't hate it.

"Every other trip didn't fall after we kissed now did they?" He said with a raised eyebrow. Gemma nearly choked on her own tongue. She spluttered and coughed at the very mention of that kiss. She thought he had forgotten all about it, but apparently Louis had a good memory. She never would have picked that.

"I don't really know what you're talking about mate. You're probably mistaking me for somebody else. You've had a lot of girls in your rooms lately. I mean you surely must have kissed someone who might resemble me whilst you're stoned." She probably shouldn't be saying things like this, writing him off like he was some drunken fool who couldn't remember anything important, or semi important. She didn't entirely know how important this might be to him, or her even. She wasn't sure about any of this at all actually.

"I'm not mistaken, we kissed and now you're avoiding me." Louis told her with the biggest smirk Gemma's ever seen plastered across his face.

Her eyes fell to the table before adverting towards Lux who was now sitting down and playing with the table cloth. She looked up at Louis and shook her head. "I'm sorry, but if I kissed you, it probably wasn't that important or I would remember doing it."


	5. 5

"Sometimes when I think back, my memories aren't so clear, I see pictures of smiles, in an album of unholy denials. And that's when it disappears. I really thought you were the one, even when my friends told me to run..." Louis sang out as he played along the ivory keys of his keyboard. He had been playing around with words all afternoon, looking for a way to express the verses he felt growing in his mind. It always happened this way, he would hear a verse in his head, and then it would disappear before he had a chance to write it down. He hummed softly and tried to find the tune on his keys.

He'd always wanted to make music that was relatable, but more often than not, he'd end up writing a catchy phrase instead. He wanted to move away from that to a point where he could make tunes that dug a little deeper, that the older fans would relate to more than the younger ones. That was his plan.

He tapped his fingers against the keys, thinking and breathing outward heavily. He wanted to get his thoughts out into the air, to trap them and get them down onto the pages before they could fly away, like tinker bell in a bad mood. It was hard sometimes, just trying to get what you're feeling and put them into words. Louis' heart was in it, but his brain was still trying to make sense of it all.

This day was like any other, except Louis couldn't get those words out of his mind, It probably wasn't that important, or I would remember doing it.

He didn't know if she genuinely couldn't remember, or if she was playing mind games just to screw him over. He didn't know which was worst to be completely honest with himself. He let out a shaky sigh as he tried to think about it all rationally. It was just a kiss, with someone he's not even interested, she doesn't care so why should he? He moved away from the keyboard and closed his eyes. This was all just messing him up in a way he didn't think was normal.

The sun was setting, and Louis needed to get out of there. He couldn't sit around worrying about Gemma, his friend's sister, a girl who he wasn't even interested in anyway. He just needed to get some air and allow himself to breathe a little.

***

Wine was always a good idea according to Gemma, it was the second night in a row that she's downed a glass with Lou. They were sitting out on Lou's balcony gossiping as per usual. They giggled and told stories about Lux and enjoyed each other's company. She had almost completely forgotten about Louis and his memories from New Years. She knows that it's silly to even be bothered by Louis at all, which was why she had decided to just forget about him.

All day she's done things that have made her happy. She took Lux to a cat café where they spent hours hanging around the kittens, taking photos and having a giggle, she then spent the rest of the afternoon in a nail salon with Lou, drinking champagne as their nails were bedazzled and painted to perfection. She loved spending time her way, instead of dwelling on some stupid feelings she didn't want to feel.

"We're going shopping tomorrow." Lou told Gemma, leaning across from the deck chair she had been sitting on. Gemma laughed as her friend nearly fell straight onto the floor.

"We can do that. If you can stand on your two feet." Gemma teased, erupting into a giggle as she nearly spilled her drink all down the front of her cream blouse.

"I'm bloody well fine. You are the drunk one." Lou pointed out, although her finger couldn't quite find the right direction as she tried to point over to her.

Gemma couldn't help herself as she started to snort.

"Now tell me about your fella. Have you told him how you feel?" The question hit Gemma like a tonne of bricks. She shook her head and her heart felt like it would pound straight out of her chest. She swallowed her mouthful of red and shook her head vigorously.

"I don't think that's a great idea." She answered softly, looking out across the city, it was still booming with traffic, people out and about doing whatever they needed to do. She wondered how many couples were out on dates, how many people were having the time of their lives out there in the world in this very moment. She didn't know what to say or think of what to do. She sat there and sighed again. "I kind of sorta maybe gave him the flick instead."

"Gemma!" Lou exclaimed, shaking her head and her finger simultaneously. "You should tell him how you're feeling. He's probably feeling the same. Look at you! You're gorgeous."

Gemma's face rose to a heat, which told her she was glad they were sitting in the dark. She pressed a cold finger against her flushed cheeks and shook her head. "I can't do that. I can't be with him even if I wanted to. I don't want him."

"Yeah, yeah. Tell that to the look on your pretty face."

***

Louis closed the door to his hotel room, he pressed his body against the door, pulling the blonde girl in against his chest. She was breathing heavily and Louis was mesmerised by the tasted of her lips against his own. He let out a strong moan, pulling her shirt up over her head. She giggled and moved her fingers across her chest, she pulled at her bra straps, tugging them down her shoulders. Louis' lips trailed down her tanned skin as he wanted to absorb every inch of her body.

Gemma was off his mind, she wasn't pulsing through his veins any longer. He pushed this new embrace towards the bed, climbing on top of the topless stranger, straddling her hips in an attempt to clear his head from the one girl he couldn't have.

This wasn't him, this wasn't what he wanted, yet he crashed his lips hard against this girl's. He kissed her and kissed her until he was blinded by the throbbing in his pants. He didn't want to think about Gemma, he didn't want her to exist and for a moment she didn't. She was evaporated from his every thought. He groaned and moaned until his jeans were laying on the floor, until they were naked and their bodies were colliding in a way that Louis never got tired of. He didn't want this feeling to end, he didn't want the sex to finish because as soon as it was over, all thoughts of Gemma would come flooding back.

He laid back against the sheets, the blonde curled up against his chest as she snores softly. Louis stared up at the ceiling and felt like the world was sitting on his chest. He was tired and alone, tired and lonely. He didn't want to be this person anymore, he didn't want one night stands, drunken kisses and forbidden feelings deep inside. All he wanted was to feel alive, to feel something real with someone who coils take him seriously.

A knock on his hotel room door made him jump, he searched in the darkness for his boxer shorts, wanting to cover up as quickly as possible. He slipped a shirt on over his top half and groggily made calculated steps towards his door, leaving the sleeping beauty alone in his bed.

On the other side of that door was the very girl he had been thinking about all day. Gemma was wearing no shoes, she looked buzzed and out of her mind. He smiled and looked at her from his half opened door, he walked out and kept it open slightly, enough to keep him from being locked out. "What are you doing here?" He asked her quietly, he looked around to make sure they were alone. He wanted to wrap his arms around her, to squeeze her body against his own. He wanted to kiss her lips again and again and see where the wind would take them.

"I, I just needed to tell you that I remember kissing you. It was important." She slurred and smiled over at him. She pulled away when he tried to touch her.

"You do." He smiled, wishing she would come closer to him for even just a second.

"I do." She nodded, looking at him from across the hallway. She leaned up against the opposing wall, staring across at Louis with a smile on her lips.

"Do you want to do it again?" He questioned, wanting to know if they were on the same page as each other. He tried to read her face but she looked too confusing for him to tell.

"I do." She said with a drunken smirk. She stepped forward and stumbled over towards him. She pushed him back against the door, it pushed into his room, the very room he really didn't need her to be in right now. She wrapped her arms around his neck, their lips crashing together in a hot kiss. This wasn't the same kiss as before. He whimpered out, and she swallowed his feelings. She was desperate for his touch, and he was so willing to give it over to her. His hands landed on her hips, pulling her closer into his body. She panted as she pulled away to catch her breath. Her eyes closed as she did this, moving in for another kiss. Louis knew this was wrong, but it felt right in the moment. It felt right to have her in his arms, against his lips. He wanted this, he wanted her and this was happening.

"Who is that?" Gemma asked as her eyes had opened and landed on the naked girl in Louis' bed. She pulled away in an instant, her hands pushing him away from her body. "I'm so stupid." She said in a pain filled voice, she shook her head again and again before rushing out of his room in a emotional rush.

"Gem! Wait. Wait." Louis called out after her, he screwed up, he really screwed it all up. He was angry at himself, angry at his own impulsive decisions. He was so angry. He needed her to know that this wasn't him anymore. This wasn't him.

"No. I'm not waiting for you anymore? I'm not waiting. You are exactly who I thought you were and I can't do this. I can't kiss you, and I can't be with you. I don't want you Louis. I don't want you!"


	6. 6

When your face hurts from crying, and your throat burns from dehydration. You feel like hell has landed in your stomach, and your toilet bowl has been destroyed from your constant puking. That's what it felt like to have your heart broken. Not that Gemma would consider it that way, she and Louis weren't ever together. It was one stupid kiss, why did she hurt so much over this? It was humiliating. She had nobody she could talk to, Harry was too involved with the both of them to think rationally and Lou would probably curse him out while using her plug in hair tools. That couldn't work out too well, surely. 

It was one of those mornings, outside her window the world was still alive. The sun was shining and the air was warm, she could hear people laughing in the pool, and couples romancing in the trees directly across from her view. She didn't want to know about it, she didn't want to see people being happy. It made her miserable. Her face was red raw, her nose was burning from the tissues she's been blowing on for hours. Everything hurt and she hated it. She hated being this affected by a boy she didn't even like, a boy who she shared nothing but a few kisses with. He was just a stupid boy and this was pathetic. 

"Ok Gem. Just shake it off." She told herself as she finally stepped out of bed. They had a plane to catch later that afternoon, and she knew that everything was going to have to run smoothly. She'd have to be in a plane with Louis, she'd have to pretend that everything was fine because everyone would be able to tell if she didn't. She ran her fingers through her messy hair and toddled over towards her conjoined bathroom. She took one look in the mirror and the tears started to form in her eyes again. She shuddered at the sight of herself. 

Louis meant nothing to her, that's what she told herself as she splashed her tired face with water. She hummed softly to herself as she started to undress, she didn't need Louis, she didn't need any boy. She just needed herself and that's the only person who wouldn't let her down. 

The shower steamed up the entire room, she let her hair down, flowing underneath the stream of water. She was shivering as her cold skin was hit by the burning sensation of the boiling water. Her body turned red like a lobster, and she reached to switch down the heat. All she could think about was how she needed to move on, to get herself together. She'd step out of the shower, paint her face with make up, and a false smile and soon she'd be feeling as great as she looked. It was a foolproof plan. 

Every step she took made a sound as she later walked out into the hallway. She looked amazing, at least that's what she was trying to achieve. She walked down towards Harry's room and she knocked on his door with three tiny pats. He opened up wearing only a pair of satin boxer briefs. She raised an eyebrow at the taller of the two siblings. Harry shrugged and rubbed his tired eyes before he stepped aside to welcome her in. Harry's room was just about as messy as hers. He had clothes everywhere, laying across the television, his computer was even open underneath a pair of trousers. "Slob." She teased as she pushed a layer of clothes off the corner of his bed to have room to sit. 

Harry laughed and jumped onto his old spot, he'd only just woken up himself. He snuggled back in underneath his sheets and pulled them up against the bottom of his chin. Gemma turned around to face her younger brother, smiling at the sight of him. "So, anything new to tell me?" She asked him curiously. She'd always found his life to be more interesting to talk about than her own, probably because he usually had a whole lot more going on in it than she had. 

Harry shrugged from underneath the sheets. He looked over at her and smiled a little. "One of my songs has some interest from a few new artists. Might make a few quid from that. Eh?" 

She nodded her head and grinned across at him. He'd been working hard on writing a lot lately. She remembered him over the Christmas break, he had spent most of his spare time with his head in a notebook, scribbling down against the pages every chance he got. She'd never actually ready any of his musings, figuring the notebooks were like journals. She didn't think it would be right to read anything without his permission, even though she knew they were all good. He knew how to express himself better than most people. He just found it easier to do so on paper. 

Gemma's never known anybody as driven as her own brother. He was constantly trying to better himself and to learn as much as he can. She's never known anybody to bounce back as quickly as him either. He'd have his heart broken, or dreadful rumours spread and he'd feel crappy for a while only to move on and be happy with himself again as if no time had even passed by since the last smile on his face. She admired him, she admired that he took chances and he had goals, goals that he actually achieved. She moved across the bed and climbed in beside him. "You haven't had any girls in here have you? Like I won't catch any STD's from laying here will I?" She questioned cautiously, not actually wanting to know if he had been shacking up with strangers. She could live a happier life without knowing that particular detail. 

"I have no time for sex Gemma. Priorities!" He shouted dramatically. Gemma's eyes rolled at the very words that fell from her brother's lips. Sometimes she loved his idiotic charms, but right now he was just annoying and she wasn't amused. 

"Louis has time for sex, saw a girl go into his room last night." She said softly. A pinch in her heartstrings made her regret even mentioning Louis' name, let alone his involvement with that random blonde. The girl who Gemma figured she would have a hard time competing with. She was perfect looking and Louis obviously had a type, girls who looked perfect 24/7. That wasn't her, she didn't think it would ever be here. 

"Yeah, well Louis is in it for the fun. I'm thinking ahead. He can shag the whole world for all I care." Harry said in an almost annoyed tone. He and Louis got along most of the time, but they disagreed on a lot of things. The way they approached their jobs, the way their approached women, just to name a few. "One day he will get somebody pregnant, and he won't know what to do with himself." Her brother predicted with an almost malicious laugh taunting through the air like a bad smell. She scrunched up her nose at that very idea, not wanting to think about Louis in that situation. 

"Don't be so mean." She scoffed, and like this wasn't something she wouldn't usually do. She would have told him off regardless of her feelings towards Louis right then. She didn't want Harry to wish anything like that upon anybody, especially not his friends. "You'll give him bad luck or something." She said with a shake of her newly blued hair. 

"Yeah, well he doesn't need me to give him bad luck. He already has enough of it on his own. Apparently there is this girl that he fancies quite a bit who keeps rejecting him. I don't know, he probably likes the chase or something. Heard him telling Liam all about how he kissed her on New Years and all." He chattered away, continuing on about all the gossip he had heard from Liam in passing. She didn't want to hear about any more gossip, especially not when some of it was anonymously about herself. She felt her cheeks warming, but hopefully she didn't blush, that would just be downright embarrassing. The absolute worst probably. 

"It's not nice to gossip about your friends anyway." She whispered, nuzzling in against her brother's shoulder. She was tired, and Harry was always so warm and welcoming. That's truly the only purpose of little brothers, to keep you warm, and to be a portable pillow when you needed somebody to lay on. 

 

"I know. But it's fun."


	7. 7

The music pulsed around them, fans screaming out as the instruments played their melodies, and the lyrics washed out around the venue. Gemma's hand clutched her cup harshly not wanting to let go of her drink. This was supposed to be a relaxing evening, when Josh and Niall proposed they all went to see Rhianna together, she thought it would be the three of them but it turned out it was the four of them. 

Louis and Gemma were sat with Niall and Josh between them, she noticed how Louis tried to switch seats with a gimmick that his seat had a better view, but Niall didn't move, he was fine where he was much to Gemma's relief. She was trying to focus on the music, and for the most part that was easy. The lights, the smoke, the high notes. She was in heaven really. It wasn't often that she got to see performers like this, sure she would see a few back home, but being in an unfamiliar city with a crowd of screaming fans that probably didn't know who she was. It was a great atmosphere. 

Drink after drink her vision started to get a little hazy, she screamed out and Josh laughed as he tried to stop her from prancing around too far, he didn't want to be kicked out. She sat down and clapped, trying her hardest to stay focused on what was happening on the stage up above but it was hard to stay focused when all she could think about was how she could hardly see what was right in front of her. 

Louis kneeled down in front of her, he passed over a water bottle and begged her to drink it. She refused and tried to push him away but he was determined to sober her up a bit. He'd had a few beers himself but he was fine compared to her, she was properly smashed at this point. 

He took hold of her hand and pulled her through the crowd. They walked out into the quiet halls outside near the bathrooms. Gemma sat herself down on one of the bench chairs and sipped from the water bottle. Louis didn't know what to do right now, he just watched her protectively, not wanting her to throw up or choke. 

"I'm fine Louis." She squeaked, looking up at him as she spoke. She was embarrassed to be in this situation. She just wanted to go home or for the world to swallow her up. She's been drunk in his presence a lot lately and she could hardly imagine what he thought of her. She didn't even care at this point, she just wanted to walk away by she knew that plan wasn't going to work out, she could barely stand up. 

"You're not fine, look at you love. You've had too much to drink." He said softly, swiping her hair away from her face, he tucked it behind her ear and stepped away. "I don't think you should be alone right now. But if you want me to leave, I can go and get Niall or Josh. Or call Harry.." 

She shook her head and reached out to grab the front of his shirt. "No, it's okay. Just stay with me." Her voice was a soft whisper, she sounded scared and broken but the truth was that she was probably just too tired to speak up, too tired to use her voice for anything. 

Louis sat down beside her without saying another word, they sat in silence and stared at various places. Louis' eyes fell on the wall across from them. He watched as people walked past as they left the bathrooms. Gemma's view was of her own feet, she was trying to sober up but the process was a lot slower than she hoped for. She kept taking sips from her water, staring down and waiting for everything to sink in. She just wanted to go back to her room. That's all she wanted. 

Yet of course it wasn't the only thing on her mind. She slowly turned around and faced him, her knee rested against his thigh as she did so. "So that girl, was a one night stand?" She asked shakily, untucking the hair Louis had previously pushed behind her ears. It was a comfort, almost as if her face was covered and he wouldn't be able to see her if it dangled in front of her face. 

"Yeah, I was upset about what you said and I lashed out. It's my thing." He answered, looking across at her as he spoke without skipping a beat. He knew this moment could go anywhere, but he didn't care. She was talking to him, and that was important. 

"So when I came over, if she hadn't been there. Would I have been a one night stand too?" She asked boldly, feeling her body come back to life almost. 

Louis shook his head straight away. He laughed a little and looked at her. "God. No. You wouldn't have been a one night thing Gemma. Shit. No way." He didn't like the idea of her believing that. He looked at her, waiting for her glance to change, for her to look him in the eye. "I think you are incredible." He told her with a nervous smile. 

Gemma's heart pulsed as the words filled her ears. She didn't think it would feel like this, to hear those words, to be near him again. She scooted closer and reached for his hand. He obliged straight away, threaded his fingers through hers and smiled. He didn't know what this meant, or if it would happen again but this was a moment, and he wasn't going to let it go to waste


	8. 8

Things changed quickly, they stopped avoiding each other and things soon became relaxed. Louis would walk into a room and Gemma would smile and continue her conversation without feeling awkward being in his presence. Louis would bring her coffee every morning, and she wouldn't reject the sincerity of his gesture. And then there was the kisses. Every chance they got, they'd be kissing. In the halls, behind corners, you name it. 

They were keeping this new relationship private of course, but that didn't stop their incessant need to be around each other. Louis would nudge her arm as he walked past, she'd brush her finger tips against his skin as they talked, and when they sat together you could count on their ankles being hooked casually as if they'd been doing this for years. It was the new normal and Gemma was surprised nobody had noticed it yet. 

"Morning love." Louis murmured as he held Gemma nearly in his arms. He pressed a kiss just below her earlobe, snuggling in against her perfumed scented body. She only had a few minutes before she was expected to meet up with Lou for a spot of shopping. This was probably the only time she'd be seeing Louis today, so they wanted to make it count. She moved her face until their lips could meet, a smile on her face as they kissed each other briefly. 

"Where are you going today?" She questioned as they slowly started to pull away. Louis stretched his arms up over his head and let out an overdue yawn. "Liam and I are going to go check out this tattoo place." He answered her question, still not sure if he was going to get inked or not, but he liked looking at the different designs anyway. 

"I'll text you later. Yeah?" He asked before giving her one last kiss. They were standing in the doorway of her hotel room, they were only staying here for a few more days before jetting off to another city, it was hard to keep track of their travels sometimes. Gemma almost wished the tour was over, and they could all stand still for a moment or two. She had to get back to work soon anyway, couldn't tag along forever although she wished she could be a passenger for her whole life, getting a free ride to the world. She couldn't obviously, but the dream still made it seem fun. 

 

Gemma touched her lips and nodded to his question, she pulled away and closed the door behind him. He walked away, and she slipped back into her bathroom to get ready. Her eyes sparkled this time, a welcoming change from the previous few days when she had looked almost drained and dead to the world. 

She slung her handbag over her shoulders and tucked her sunglasses over her eyes. And walked towards the elevator. Harry caught up with her, he shook his head in disapproval. She frowned and crossed her arms over her chest. "What?" She asked, clearly confused by his actions. 

"You can't wear sunglasses inside Gemma, you're ruining my reputation. People are going to think you are eat the paste special. It's just wrong." He told her, still shaking his head with a plain face. She let out a snort, this wasn't something she wanted to deal with this early in the morning, alas she pushed her specs up to her head and looked over at him.

"You're above and beyond annoying you are.." She told him playfully, her fist collided with her brother's tattooed arm and he grabbed hold of her tiny hand, squeezing it until she yelped out in pain. 

"Harry!" She scoffed, begging him to let go of her hand. He narrowed his eyes at her before finally letting go. He smiled and patted her head gently. 

"You have a hickey on your jaw by the way." He whispered just as the elevator doors began to open. He walked out, saluting her as he did this. He didn't even bother to turn around to see her react, instead he just kept on walking out into the foyer.

The shopping trip was a success, Gemma didn't think she could fit all of her newest purchases in her suitcase for her journey home. She sipped from her iced coffee as Lou started talking about her new body washes she couldn't wait to try. Gemma nodded along, giving her own thoughts every so often. They were walking in step with each other, and Gemma was just glad that she had a friend here, someone she could go out with and buy things she didn't need without any judgements. "Tell me about that fella of yours then. You've been happier the last few days. Spill the coffee beans." The elder of the two pressed as they entered the elevator. Gemma started pressing buttons, forgetting that she was supposed to be an adult in the moment, and this time she couldn't even use Lux as an excuse to stop on every stop. 

"I don't need a fella to make me happy. I'm offended by that sentiment." She told her friend with sparkling eyes as she spoke. She was merely having a lend of her. She wasn't at all angry about this observation, probably because she was correct and Gemma didn't even feel ashamed of that fact really. She was quite happy with her situation. 

"I know you have one. You've got something over here." Lou told her, leaning across to poke the very love bite Harry had pointed out earlier that same morning. 

Gemma felt her face warm, a flush swiped across her skin as she realised that people were growing suspicious. She shrugged her shoulders and tried to play it cool, swaying back and forth as the elevator stopped at their floor. She stepped out, saved by the bell it seemed. 

It wasn't much later when Louis came knocking on her door. She had been playing on her laptop at the time and took a few moments to rush over to let him in. "Hey." She breathed as she faced him again. Louis smiled and stepped inside, the door closed behind him as he made himself at home. He climbed onto Gemma's bed and took a sneaky look at her computer. "Shopping again? I thought you'd just been?" He pointed out, scrolling through the pages upon pages of shoes. Gemma walked across the room and sat down beside of him. 

"Shut up. You can never do too much shopping. This is so much better however, because I don't have to leave my bed." She told him, taking over the mouse from her boyfriend. She's been calling him that inside of her head the past few days, but she wasn't even sure if that's what he was. They were just having fun and getting to know each other, that's what they told each other. That's what they'd agreed on. "Did you get any ink then?" She asked trying to change the subject. 

Louis shook his head and glanced down at his tattoo littered arms. He was struggling to find room lately since he'd gone on a tattoo binge the last few years and really he didn't know what was next for him. 

Gemma traced her finger across one of his more prominent tatts, she let out a soft sound and smiled across at him. "I'll go with you when you pick your next one. Yeah?" She suggested and Louis smiled with a hearty chuckle. 

He swooped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her body into his for a cuddle. "I think that's a good plan love." He said softly before pressing a gentle kiss to her temple.


	9. 9

"Pizza is here!" Gemma shouted out as she stood in the doorway. She's just paid the delivery boy who thankfully had no clue who she was. The door clipped behind him as he faded away into hallway. She turned and started walking towards the bedroom, where Louis and Lux were busy cuddling and watching a movie on her laptop. 

"Who is hungry?" She asked as she tucked herself onto the other side of Lux. The little girl seemed excited and completely turned her attention away from the screen. 

"Lux you're such a pig. I can't believe you ordered a whole pizza to eat by yourself." Louis scoffed, causing the young girl to start laughing. 

"Louis!" She squealed, shaking her head as Gemma popped open the lid of their deep dish. She took out a napkin and placed a slice on top for the munchkin. She passed it over to the little one and smiled. "Thank you." Lux said to her and Gemma ran her fingers through her blonde hair.

"That's alright." She told her with a big smile. "I like spoiling you so that I'm you're favourite, and Harry isn't." 

Louis let out an incredulous snort as Gemma said those words. She rolled her eyes at him which only rewarded her with a puppy dog pout with big sad eyes in return. She smiled again, leaning across the bed to squeezed his arm affectionately. They were still so new at this, being in a relationship, being around each other and trying to keep you're cool. Gemma still got butterflies in her tummy every time he looked into her eyes, even if he was just simply asking her if she needed any help, or if she knew where the bathroom was at a new venue. She felt like a sixteen year old school girl falling in love for the very first time. Louis made her feel that, and they'd only been hanging out for a short while. 

Lux of course was oblivious to all of this, she nibbled on the crust of her pizza and looked across at the computer screen in awe. She wasn't paying attention to the couple laying either side of her. Louis was practically shooting hearts at her with his eyes, and Gemma was holding back school girl squeals. She was happy to be around him, obviously. And so very happy that Lux was too young to pick up on any vibe they might be giving off. They haven't told a soul about their new found fondness for each other, Gemma figured it was too soon and Louis agreed.

There was one slice left, Gemma and Louis exchanged a look between them, he nodded towards it as if offering it to her like a gentleman. She nodded her head back, offering it to him, they silently laughed and Gemma reached over to take the slice. She liked him, but not enough to give up pizza that was for sure. 

Lux had soon fallen asleep between them, Louis closed Gemma's laptop and laid down beside the young girl. Gemma took her computer off the bed, she walked it over to the desk where she had her charger. She plugged it in and walked back over to the two people she was most fond of. She leaned across to give Louis a kiss before snuggling in beside Lux. Lou was supposed to pick her up before bed, but Gemma didn't know what time that was happening so instead she just laid there, letting her eye lids flutter closed as she drifted off to a light sleep without a care in the world.

When Lou did arrive however, Gemma was woken up by the pounding on the door and the buzzing of her phone. She walked out of the bedroom and out to the door of her suite. She was half asleep herself really. "Sorry, we fell asleep." Gemma explained, as if her hair wasn't obvious enough for that fact. She tried to comb through it with her hands but it didn't quite brush down the way she planned. She let out a yawn and crossed her arms over her chest as she walked Lou into her bedroom. 

Louis was asleep still, Lux curled up against his chest. Gemma bit down on her lip as she waited for Lou to say something. She didn't. Instead she walked over to the bed and scooped her little munchkin up into her arms. "She's so heavy." She told Gemma with a little chuckle. The obvious thing would have been for them to wake Louis and get him to carry Lux, but neither woman approached that idea with any reality. He was still sound asleep and Lux had even started to stir from the movement. She curled into her mother's body and Gemma grabbed her little Peppa Pig backpack to sling over Lou's back. 

"I think that's everything." Gemma said softly and Lou nodded her head. She still hadn't mentioned Louis or why he was in Gemma's bed. She didn't mention the fact that once she left, Gemma and Louis would be alone in said bed. She hadn't said it out loud, so Gemma didn't know what she was thinking about either. She smiled as they walked back to the front door, and Gemma hoped that this would just be one of those things that didn't get mentioned again. She yawned again as she opened the door for Lou, not wanting her to have any troubles. 

"Have fun." Lou told her with dancing eyes before walking away, leaving Gemma stunned by it. 

She walked back into the bedroom and snuggled in against Louis' chest. They've never slept together, never fallen asleep in each other's arms. This was different, and it was nice. She just hoped Lou didn't mention it again, that wasn't in the plan. They were supposed to wait for the right time to tell people, yet they fell asleep and now Lou knows, and Gemma doesn't know what that will do to everything. She doesn't know if  Louis will be okay with that, or if they would just be more careful next time. 

She closed her eyes and he wrapped his arm around her before she let herself fall asleep.


	10. 10

Louis stood out on his balcony, cigarette between his lips. He let out a smoky breath as his body bent back into his deck chair. The air was warm and clear and the morning sun poked it's head up over the horizon. He smiled to himself as he admired the beauty of the scene. 

Gemma was asleep inside, he hadn't wanted to wake her. She was so peaceful and pure when she was asleep with her fingers curled around the sheets and her hair falling across her shoulders and covering her chest. 

He yawned out and watched as the birds flocked out of their trees and into the world, he could see people rushing out to their cars, ready for their early morning drives to work, or their jogs around the block. He wished for a moment that he had a normal life. That he could go for a run without being followed, leave his house without being attacked by camera's. He wished for a moment that he could take his girlfriend out for dinner without strangers making a fuss over what if all meant. He wished for one moment he could be anybody else. 

Gemma walked up behind him, pushing the sliding door open before walking out onto his balcony. He smiled across at the girl, she had messy blue hair and a lazy smile across her lips. "Morning." She whispered as she walked over to sit herself down on his lap. The pair had been sleeping in the same bed together for the last week or so, but they hadn't 'sealed the deal' so to speak. 

The couple were taking it slow, they had kept their relationship on the down low since it had started, and Lux was the only person whose had a front row seat to them interacting. 

Gemma let out a breath it floated out in front of them, sitting in the air like a cloud. Louis nuzzled his face into the back of her hair, taking in the smell of her apple scented shampoo. She let out a little groan and looked back at him. "You're going to make me smell like cigarette smoke." She complained, which caused him to chuckle gently. 

"You'll be right love." He told her with a croaky voice, he pressed a wet kiss to the side of her neck, using his teeth to press a tiny bite mark down over her skin. She shivered and pulled away for a moment, her skin standing up all the way down her arms. His hand curled around her wrist, thumb played with her hair bands as he held onto her. 

"What are you doing today?" She questioned, removing her eyes from the sun covered city they were staring out across. It looked so warm and peaceful, so beautiful in its own way. Cities often did this early in the morning. With the buildings casting odd shadows, and the sun peaking out between the trees. She let out a happy sigh as Louis snuffed out his cigarette. 

Their lips met then, a soft good morning kiss. Gemma didn't like the taste, but she kissed him anyway, he sucked on her bottom lip without any hesitation, humming as their mouths detached. "I'm going for a drive with Harry and Niall." He answered sweetly, cupping his hand over either side of her face, as if he was holding the most precious thing in the world. He pressed a few more kisses to her face, missing her lips every time. She smiled and relaxed, her eyes fell closed as he continued kissing her delicate skin. 

It was in her most vulnerable state, a face without make up, a face with her natural skin and all her blemishes. Louis didn't care about any of that. He cared that she was Gemma, and this was what she looked like first thing in the morning. He loved the way her eyes looked as they glossed over at the morning sun, or how her hair had little tangles as she first pulled away from her pillows every morning. He liked the way she looked, and the way she was without all of her pretty clothes and her face full of make up. He liked her in this state and that was important to her, she didn't feel like she had to be perfect at every waking moment. She didn't rush out of bed and make herself presentable before he woke up, she didn't feel insecure if her hair was a mess, or her make up wasn't on. She felt relaxed and safe, something she found comforting. 

"Where are you driving to?" She questioned once his hands had relaxed against her skin. She bit down on her lip, the same spot she always did when she was thinking heavily. He smiled at that, already knowing little things like that about her. He liked picking up on new quirks of hers. He ran his finger over her gnawed lip and shrugged. 

"We're going shopping I think. I don't know the specifics really. All I know is that Niall and Harry are going into town, and I said I'd join them." He answered, thinking over the actual plan for a moment. He couldn't remember the exact details, but he was keen to just turn up and see what was happening. "And you? What're you up to? More babysitting the troublemaker?" 

Gemma shook her head, she laced their fingers together and settled herself back into his lap. "Sophia flies in this morning, Liam and I are going to pick her up. Then I think he will follow us around as we catch up and shop too probably. Not too sure, might lounge around poolside. Make him wait for it." She laughed, and Louis thinks it's like music to his ears. His thumb started rubbing against her hands delicately as she spoke, he just loved hearing the sound of her voice no matter which words she spoke. 

"Are you going to tell her all about your charming boyfriend?" He questioned, which brought a smile to Gemma's face. She turned around and pressed a kiss to his lips. 

"Maybe." 

And with that she scooted off her lap and walked back inside.


	11. 11

'My memories are filled with bounds of regret.   
I look back and all I see is what I want to forget.

I touch my scars, take a breath,   
and think back to the words you were always repeating.

"Everything happens for a reason,   
you and me can make magic,   
If that's what we believe in..."

Oh is it clear?  
Is it clear?   
That in my head all I wanted   
Was to hold you near.   
Is it clear? Is it clear?  
That all my mistakes come down to my   
insecure Fearin'  
All I know is that I want you to hold you tight...

But I'm not there to kiss you tonight...

Do you remember the time,   
We went to bed at nine?   
After long walks amongst the trees?  
It was only you and me.   
I said, "Nothing can come between,   
Coz babe you and me are the dream..."

Oh is it clear?  
Is it clear?   
That in my head all I wanted   
Was to hold you near.   
Is it clear? Is it clear?  
That all my mistakes come down to my   
insecure Fearin'  
All I know is that I want you to hold you tight...

But someone else is kissing you good night.

Everything went wrong,   
And then you wrote that song...  
I can't breathe.   
I can't sleep   
You're all I see in my dreams!   
But I'm sick of loving you tonight.

Now all that's left is for me to say goodbye.' 

It had been months, and Gemma was still pinching herself about their relationship. Louis really surprised her, in fact every day they spent in a relationship, was another day filled with more surprises. She hadn't spent much longer on the tour, having to go back home to her job and all her responsibilities and all. 

When the news officially broke to the world, the backlash was louder and messy. Gemma was called awful names and spent weeks boycotting social media, trying to keep her head out of the bulls eye for hateful comments. She found herself slowly falling in love with the man walked proudly holding onto her hand. Louis was busy more often than not, but to her it didn't matter, she had learnt to trust him, learnt to know that he was loyal and trusting and kind. She loved that about her boyfriend. She absolutely adored him.

Which was why in this very moment, while she sat across from him playing the piano, and singing along to the words he had written, she was smiling. Although the song was sad and written about heartache and regret. She couldn't help but smiling as she listened to the words he sang. He was quiet, the words almost being mumbled between his lips. 

"Did you like it?" He asked finally, closing the lid of his piano and staring across the room where his girlfriend sat proudly. She nodded her head and ran her fingers through her hair. It was long and blonde again, which was the way Louis liked it. He walked over towards her, smiling before he reached her spot on the sofa. He leaned over the arm of the chair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head sweetly. 

"It was lovely." She told him, making room for him to sit down beside her. He spread his legs apart and pulled her into the gap, his arm wrapping around her body so they could snuggle into each other. He could feel the warmth from her body hitting his chest as she crushed against her. She smelled like cinnamon, and it always made him hungry when she was up close to him. 

"You're lovely." He whispered into her ear from behind, he smiled as he spoke, it was the closest he's come to telling her those three little words. He loved her, that was one thing he was certain about, he loved her and he hoped she knew that, even though he hadn't yet spoken it aloud. 

She smiled to herself as she turned around to face him. She trailed her fingers across his chest and moved in to press a kiss to his lips. A memory flooded into her mind as she recalled the very first time the world knew about them. 

It was Harry who had grown suspicious, he'd seen her leaving Louis' floor several times, even when they moved on to a different city. She knew he was catching on, and Louis was worried about how he may react. She took care of it all, assuring her brother that Louis had honourable intentions and all. Harry hadn't been convinced at first. He'd demanded a private chat with his band mate, which was nerve wrecking for Gemma who sat outside in the hallway. 

Harry emerged twenty minutes later, a smile on his face as he walked away without saying a single word. She had jumped to her feet and waited for Louis to come out and explain it all to her. He looked stunned, as white as ghost once he was in her vision again. She had walked back into his room, wrapped her arms around his body and kissed his lips over and over to make sure he was alright. 

He was of course, she learned later. Harry had merely tried to scare him, roughed him up a bit before pointing a finger in a menacing manner. He had told Louis that if he broke his sister's heart, Harry would make sure his nuts were removed, and that the whole world knew what kind of scumbag he really was. After those words had been exchanged, he gave his friend a hug and told him to relax and make his girlfriend the happiest girl in the world, and Gemma appreciated that part. She truly did. 

Which was exactly what Louis had been doing all this time. He'd taken her out on dates, flown her across the world for a romantic weekend away, sent her flowers while he was out of the country, sent gifts for her and her beloved cat. He'd done everything right, and like Gemma can't even remember the last time she's been this happy because of a boy. 

She's a tough cookie usually, likes to keep herself happy, to keep herself independent and inspired like every single woman should be. That was how she lived her life, but things had changed slightly. She was still that independent woman, she still made herself happy, but in the moments when she couldn't do it alone. Louis was there to pick up the pieces and mend her happiness again.

They were happy together, and Louis was constantly looking at her like she was the only girl in the world, he was always looking into her eyes like it was the first time, and it sounded so cliché, but that's how it felt. She felt like they were in a Disney film. Something she'd always dreamed of as a little girl. 

They hadn't fought yet, they hadn't yelled and screamed and slammed doors. They were just a couple of people who were still so obsessed with each other that it almost felt unhealthy sometimes. Like right now, every time one of them moved, the other moved along with them. They'd say the same thing at the same time and laugh like it was the funniest thing in the world. They were in sync and sometimes it scared Gemma, sometimes it scared her a lot. 

This particular evening was one of Louis' last nights in London. He was leaving for Australia the following afternoon and Gemma had to stay home and work. Which sucked, especially since the time difference was going to be a complete bitch for them to keep in contact. They'd manage though, which was some comfort to Gemma who was going to miss her boyfriend terribly. 

Louis' mother was due around for dinner, which was still a few hours away. Louis and Gemma were planning on cooking together, trying to impress Johannah with their domestic couple skills and all. They'd planned it all out, and Gemma thought for sure that something would go wrong but she wasn't going to jinx it by saying that out loud. 

The telly played in the background a few hours later as the happy couple tied each other's aprons around their waists. Gemma already had flour across her cheeks from when Louis had taken the packet from the pantry, carelessly forgetting to keep the top folded over. The white powder had fallen everywhere, and Gemma had been somewhat furious with him, yet of course she hid that and merely showed annoyance. She wasn't going to make this into their first fight, they couldn't possible have their first fight over spilt flour. That would be absurd. 

"I'm sorry." Louis apologised for the umpteenth time as Gemma caught her reflection through the oven. She dusted off her cheeks and shook her head. It wasn't that serious, it wasn't like they had lost all of their flour. They could do this, she was confident. 

And she was right. A few hours later with a pie in the oven, and a chocolate slice setting in the fridge, the happy couple shared a kiss and a cuddle before looking towards the angry pile of dishes they still had to attack. 

Gemma offered to wash, as Louis took out a towel ready to dry them all. It was a team effort, that almost ended in a splash as Louis nearly dropped a pan filled with hot bubbly dishwater right on Gemma's toes. She squealed and he laughed, saying he was sorry over and over.

"You're so not sorry, you just want me to have to go and change!" She accused in amusement, shaking her soaping hands to dry them off. She only had a few more things to clean, but she decided in that moment that Louis earned his right to finish them all off. She pressed a kiss to his cheek before walking away from the kitchen and back to his bedroom. 

They still lived separately but Gemma might as well live in Louis' house. She already took up a lot of his cupboards with her clothes and his bathroom was almost half filled with her things which Louis absolutely didn't mind at all. He loved seeing her belongings when she wasn't staying over, it just reminded him of her and that might sound strange but it made him fall asleep at night with a smile on his face. 

When she emerged out of the bedroom again, she had changed into a fresh pair of jeans and the new sweater Louis had brought her not too long ago. Louis had since finished up in the kitchen, and the smell of their shepherd's pie was wafting through the house making her stomach rumble from anticipation. 

"Babe, when did your mum say she was popping round?" Gemma called out as she opened the oven to check on their creation. Louis checked his phone and scrolled through his messages with his mother until he found their arrangement. He checked the clock and worked it out on his fingers. 

"She should be here any minute now, at least if she's on time." He told her.

It was as though his mother were a genie because it was that moment when Louis' buzzer went off indicating that a car has arrived. He kissed Gemma once more before rushing out to welcome his other favourite lady. 

Gemma was nervous about this dinner, she's known Johannah for years, but never in this capacity. She was Louis' band mate's sister for most of their interactions but now she was his girlfriend, which was a whole new territory. Louis had assured her that his mother was delighted by their relationship, but Gemma was nervous regardless. 

"Gemma!" A warm welcoming voice hollered across the room. The blonde looked up from the pie she had just taken out of the oven and smiles widely over towards the brunette woman. She walked over and wrapped her arms around Louis' mother. She was immediately squashed in a back breaking embrace, causing Louis to give his mother a warning tone. 

"I'm sorry, I'm just excited." His mum said with a giggly laugh. She turned around and kissed her son on his cheek, causing him to feel embarrassed.

It wasn't long before the three of them were laughing, the two women sharing a glass of wine while Louis sipped from his water. He kept exchanging smiles with his girlfriend, who was doing a stellar job of impressing his mother if he was honest. 

The two females in the room kept exchanging stories, and Louis felt lost most of the time. They seemed to have a lot in common which they'd probably never have known unless he's started this relationship with Gemma.

Gemma offered to go to the kitchen to check on their dessert, which left Louis and Johannah alone. Louis knew that this was her moment to ask him questions or give her opinions. It made him slightly worried, although the smile on her face was somehow a comfort. 

"I like her, I always have. But I like you pair together." She told her son, sipping from her wine glass. She had seen the way the young couple had interacted around each other. Both the subtle times and not the not so subtle. She could tell that they both strongly cared for one another which was the only thing that mattered to a mother. All she wanted was for her son to be happy, and for his girlfriend to make him that way. She wanted him to find love, and it didn't matter who that was with for in her mind, love was love no matter who you fell for. 

"I love her." Louis said in a shallow whisper, it was the first time he's said that out loud, and Johannah's heart swelled at hearing that expression from her son's lips. She could tell by the way his face looked stunned that he hasn't said that very often, if at all. 

"Does she know that?" 

Louis shook his head before shrugging. He didn't know if she knew for sure, but he did. And he hoped she knew. "I want to tell her, soon. I think. But I'm leaving tomorrow for a bit. Don't know if I should wait, s'not like a FaceTime kind of discussion. Or an email correspondence..." He pointed out shyly, hoping Gemma was still in the other room so she couldn't hear him asking his mother for advice. 

Johannah's face softened as she reached over to grab hold of his hands. "Honey, there isn't any right or wrong way to say it. Just tell her when you mean it and when you feel right. Don't let your job stop you or rush you."

Louis nodded his head, she was right as always. He just needed to stop worrying over this. He loved her, and he was going to tell her, tonight.


	12. 12

'Long distance relationships, the dreaded LDR. We all hate them, some more than others. I for one am not particularly fond of the idea of my SO being across the country, or even across the world. The idea makes me feel unsettled in the pits of my stomach, however this is a part of my life that I've now chosen to endure. 

It's something that's had been thinking quite a bit lately, thinking about all the long distant couples that don't have the pleasure of knowing that their partners will be home soon. Some unfortunate souls don't get to see their loved ones for a long time. 

What are we most afraid of when our partners are away from home? Is it the fear of a cheating spouse? The torturous idea of them having fun without us? Or the pressing feeling of missing them to a point where we turn into love sick fools who mope around like a puppy who has been denied a treat?  

If I was to take a not so educated guess, I'd say it was all of the above. The idea of our significant others living a whole separate life is scary to us, but it doesn't have to be. We shouldn't have to feel those fears. Of course it would absolutely suck if we were to be cheated on, but that isn't a guaranteed option for every LDR, and as for them having fun without us? Let them live! Life would be mighty boring if our partners weren't allowed to have fun unless we were by their sides, let them have a bit of fun and don't let your FOMO get you down too much. 

And I for one think moping around missing my boyfriend isn't so bad, it gives me an excuse to buy a pint of my favourite ice cream without him stealing half of it. 

LDR's aren't so bad really, they're worth the risk I reckon....'

Gemma stared at the screen in front of her, wondering if this was too much. She knew that as a writer sometimes she did write about herself but this was different, this hit closer to home. She's never written about relationships before, not her own at least. 

She knew none of this could be used against Louis, it wasn't that personal but at the same time the world would know how she felt. She stared at the words on her screen before closing the lis of her macbook. Louis had left earlier that morning, and his house seemed rather empty without him. She knew that she should probably go back to her own flat, but somehow she hasn't been able to leave the bed. The room smelled like Louis, a mix of manly sweat and his cologne wafted through his sheets, and along his pillows. She laid back against the mound of them, the softness cushioned beneath her messy bed hair. 

She didn't want to be that girl who moped around her boyfriend's house while he was off travelling the world. She hated those girls yet there she was laying on his unmade bed, writing articles about how she was miserable without him, and scared of him meeting some pretty girl that took all of his attention away from her. That's something that she never knew she feared until now, thinking back to the night before she wondered how she could still have those fears, after the night they had just shared, she should have no doubts at all. 

It wasn't long after Johannah had left, when the pair were alone to clean up all the dinner dishes. Louis had offered to do all of them which was a nice surprise since he usually didn't do them at all. Gemma went off to take her shower, wanting to wind down for bed after the exhausting evening they'd shared with Louis' mother. He had kissed her forehead and told her he'd catch her up in the bedroom soon. 

She hadn't thought much of that, since he said it almost every time she went to take a shower. It was a regular evening as far as she had been concerned. Louis was clanging dishes as he loaded them into the dishwasher, and she was tiredly walking down the tiled hallway and back into his bedroom. 

Her heart was heavy as she stood under the spray of the water. She was so tired that her eyelids were barely keeping themselves open. There was no explanation as to how she had become this tired, not unless Louis had snuck a sleeping pill into her wine, which of course he hadn't. She laughed at herself at the very idea as she began dressing herself again. 

She could hear her boyfriend shuffling around in his bedroom before he knocked on the bathroom door. He was always a gentleman, making sure she was decent before he intruded. They stood in front of the mirror together, brushing their teeth with an almost rhythmic sound between them. 

It wasn't the most romantic activity in the world, but Gemma was glad to have his company. They spat out one after the other, laughing at the very disgusting nature of this occurrence. Gemma snorted as Louis looked across at her looking like Santa Clause with toothpaste froth dribbling down his cleanly shaven chin. "Wash it off. I don't want to kiss minty Father Christmas." She told him with another soft giggle. 

Louis reached for a washcloth and fixed himself up, he followed his girlfriend back to bed, climbing in after her. She was soon curling up into his embrace, her little spoon to his big. He sniffed her hair, it smelled like apples again. "You always smell like food, and it makes me hungry even when I've filled up with dinner." He whispered into her ear. His lips touched against her skin momentarily, causing her whole body to shiver. 

"You always smell...." She trailed off, not having a come back that made any sense. She let out a tired yawn, covering her mouth with the back of her hand. She leaned backwards, turning her head around to give Louis a goodnight kiss. He obliged happily, kissing her lips a few more times just to make sure she knew that he meant every last one. 

"Gem. I love you." He whispered, and she stopped breathing. Louis' heart was thrashing against his chest, they could both hear it, they could both feel it. It was silent for a moment as they both listened solely to his heartbeat. 

He curled into Gemma's body, not expecting her to say anything in return, but she rolled over until her body was on top of his own. "I love you too." She told him in an almost silent whisper.


	13. 13

Backlash was cruel, knowing that you're a public figure; and that you couldn't do anything without people forming opinions. It was tough. Gemma hadn't let it get to her before and she wasn't about to start, she wasn't going to let it get under her skin this time.

Her Twitter feed was filled with jealousy, people telling her to stay away from Louis, people telling her that she was a whore and that she just wanted him for fame. Gemma knew they were just protective of their favourite singer, that their emotions were causing them to react this way. It stung but what could she do? She couldn't say anything without causing others to defend her in a way she didn't condone. She didn't want to cause a stir.

Instead she logged out of her account and laid back against her pillows. She hadn't stayed long at Louis' place. The house felt empty without him anyway. Olivia crawled onto her tummy and buried her face in against Gemma's breasts. It would have been creepy if she wasn't so cute.

"At least someone is here to appreciate them." She commented as her fingers started tracing across the kitten's back. She chuckled softly to herself and listened the the wind chimes that were blowing in the window outside her window. She missed her boyfriend, she missed just having him in the room, laying in silence as they did their own thing. She missed the sound of his breath, the sound of him rolling over a million times to find a new comfortable position. She missed him tapping his fingers against the metal frame of her bed as he couldn't stay still for long. She was smiling at the thought of all the things she's picked up on in the duration of their relationship and everything felt good.

Twitter haters didn't know her, they didn't know Louis as much as they believed either. She knew him, and he knew her. He loved her. He loved her and he told her that.

She was trying to figure out how she would move from her bed; without interrupting the sleeping feline when her phone started buzzing beside of her.

"Hey you." She answered, after seeing Louis' caller ID appearing on her screen. A smile was plastered across her lips, this definitely had to be one of her favourite parts of the day.

"Morning love, you been up long?" He asked her, sounding tired on the other end. It was the evening in Australia, probably quite late if her conversion time was properly estimated.

"I'm still in bed, cuddling my princess." She said warmly, looking down at the purring kitten as she slept on top of her belly. She scratched behind her ears gently, just thinking about how adorable this little munchkin was.

"You're terrible." He told her in mocking disapproval which made her laugh out loud. He liked the way her laugh sounded, it made him feel happy, and less tired than before.

"I know, I'm spreading all my terribleness over the world." She joked right back, since well she was stuck in bed and clearly wasn't doing anybody any bound of harm.

Louis laughed, the kind of sound that made her feel like she could actually hear him smiling. "Miss me yet?" She asked before he had finished laughing. She missed him was the thing, she missed him more than she wanted to admit.

"I do miss you a bit. Yeah, quite a lot actually. But don't go bragging about it or anything. I don't want you to like get a big head or nothing." He teased, although he wouldn't mind hearing her bragging about him. He quite liked hearing what she had to say especially when it came to him. He was kind of sporting a big head himself really.

"I won't. Promise." She humoured him, smiling like a fool as she often did when they were talking. "It must be late for you, yeah? What're you doing up?" She asked, not wanting him to lose any sleep because of her. This time difference sucked for them. It really just made a mess of their relationship. Either he was sleeping, or she was. There were only a few hours of the day when they were both available to talk and it was hard but they somehow managed to make it work out each time.

"We finished a show, and I didn't feel like sleeping yet. I'll probably be tired in the morning though." Gemma could hear him trying to hide a yawn, she didn't mention it however since she was flattered that he was using his sleeping time to talk to her instead.

"You should sleep soon though. Yeah babe?" She didn't want him to mess up his sleeping habits constantly. It just wouldn't be right of her to want that really.

"I will. After we chat." Louis answered her and for a second she was worried, thinking maybe he was wanting to talk about something serious. She tried to shake that feeling, he wouldn't dump her on the phone surely?

"Oh yeah? Have anything in mind?" She questioned trying to sound as casual as possible. She wanted to sound cool and calm, and not like she was internally feeling like the whole world was inside of her stomach like butterflies on steroids or somewhat.

"You. I miss you. Did I already say that? I can't remember. Bloody hell in tired." Louis groaned down the line. Her heart was flickering like she'd just been jumped out at. She couldn't help but smile, couldn't hold back the feeling she felt inside of her chest.

"I miss you too, and I don't care if you've already said it. It's nice to hear."

"I miss you. I miss you. I miss you." Louis told her again and again. She could hear it in his voice that he was smiling as he spoke, the way he chuckled at the end of his string of words, he was smiling and tired and missing her and it made her heart swell.

"Love you."


	14. 14

Lottie had a spring in her step, she pottered around the room as she wanted to make last minute adjustments to everything she had been working on. Her brother was on his way home, so she figured she would bring it upon herself to organise a fancy dinner for the happy couple. 

Candles were already lit, the smell of garlic wafted through the kitchen and out into the living room. She was impressed by how everything had fallen into place. She wiped her garlic scented hands up and down her jeans, looking around the decorated room, she felt accomplished and like her brother might actually be proud of this little surprise. 

It had come to her as a shock when he and Gemma announced their relationship. She had no idea that the pair were even friends, she's been on tour with Louis and Gemma at the same time and well she never saw anything suspicious between the pair. Yet there she was planning a romantic meal for two of her favourite people. 

The doorbell sounded and she rushed down the hallway to answer it. She wore a big smile on her face when Gemma stood across from her in the doorway. "You made it." She beamed before taking a side step to let the older woman in. She was happy to see Gemma's face, to see the woman who was making her brother very happy. 

"Where is Louis? I thought you were coming round together?" She questioned, looking around to see if he was outside. Gemma unbuttoned her coat and slung it over her folded arms. 

"No, I mean he's not with me. He should be on his way though." Gemma answered softly. She slipped her shoes off and walked into her boyfriend's home. She knew this place like the back of her own hand by now. 

She walked through the main hallway and out towards the living area where Lottie had cooked up a storm and decorated her little heart out. A smile glossed over Gemma's lips as she realised how much trouble Lottie had gone to. She secretly wondered if this would be the night, the night she and Louis slept together for the very first time. That wouldn't be something she would say it loud of course, but a small blush peeked over her cheeks at the very thought. 

"It looks amazing. I don't think Louis' place has ever looked so good." Gemma praised as she walked into the kitchen to pour herself a drink. 

Lottie poked her head down, taking a look inside of the oven. She smiled as she saw her lasagne baking to perfection in there. "You know he's probably going to be cranky, but just tell him to shove off if he is. I didn't go to all this trouble for him to be a twat." 

Gemma laughed in amusement as she sipped from her wine glass. She knew Louis was probably tired, but they had been talking about their reunion so fondly that she didn't think there would be a problem. 

She looked back at the decorated room again, the candles brought her to a fit of excitement. She knew that her relationship hadn't exactly been traditional, they'd never been on a real date, never sat down at a fancy restaurant looking into each other's eyes fondly. 

"You've done a good job, I mean you didn't have to go to all the trouble. You're like the perfect little Cupid aren't you?" She grinned from ear to ear as she spoke. 

The front door opened and Louis' preppy voice hollered down the hallway. Gemma immediately jumped from her position and rushed out to see her boyfriend. Her heart pounded as they caught each other's eyes. They grinned at each other and Gemma rushed into his arms. 

"Missed you sweetheart." Louis said as he wrapped his arms around his girlfriend's body. She nuzzled into his neck, pressing little kisses along his skin. He smelled a bit like a plane, but she didn't care at all. She smiled and pulled away to get a good look at him. 

"Lottie's fixed us up some dinner. If you're hungry?" She smiled as she spoke, pinching herself that she was actually seeing him in this moment.

Louis smiled in a surprised manner, he hadn't realised that this night would be such an occasion. "Is she staying for dinner too? Or is this a date kind of thing?" He questioned as they finally let go of the embrace. Gemma reached down to take his hand, walking him down the hall. 

"I think this is meant to be a date." She said with a laugh as Louis nodded in agreement. He looked around the room, and laughed himself. 

"I think this is meant to be a date." He repeated before sneaking a kiss to the back of Gemma's neck. She shivered at his touch and turned around to flash him a smile. He grinned from ear to ear before pressing a kiss to his lips. 

Lottie coughed awkwardly as she stood behind them. The happy couple turned around, Gemma blushed slightly as her boyfriend stretched his arms up over his head in a casual manner. He smiled before walking towards his sister. "Thanks for doing this." He told her, and Lottie shook her head. It was her pleasure, her absolute pleasure. 

"I have to do something to make Gemma think you're husband material." She teased, wrapping her arm around her brother to give him a side hug. 

Louis laughed and glanced over at his girlfriend. The idea of marriage was so foreign to him, he didn't know why it made him feel this way. They were so young and this was so early, he didn't think that they would be thinking about that for a long time. Yet Lottie's words hung in the air and made him feel almost shy around Gemma after that. 

To be continued....


	15. 15

"I'm some what embarrassed by all of this." Louis told Gemma with a chuckle, he looked around at the nearly placed dinner plates, and the strategically arranged candles. He was ashamed that he hadn't come up with this himself. Gemma didn't seem to mind, but he did. He reached forward and interlocked their fingers in an embrace. He didn't want to waste another moment, focusing on anything other than the girl across form him. 

"Because you're not a romantic person, or because you didn't think of this yourself?" Gemma questioned, taking a sip from her wine glass. She usually preferred the taste of red, but Lottie had popped open this wine before she had a chance to protest. It wasn't awful. 

"Because my little sister is more of a gentleman than I am." He told her with a shy smile. Gemma hasn't seen him like this before, when he's showing a more vulnerable side of himself. She likes it of course, it's just strange to see him this way. 

"I wouldn't worry about it. She's not the one here now." Gemma told him, finishing her glass without a second thought. She stood up and wandered into the kitchen for another bottle, she knew that being drunk now would only make her louder and more obnoxious, but she didn't think Louis was in the state of mind to care. 

She wandered back, bottle in hand wearing a big rich smile. Louis was smiling when she sat down again, he opened the bottle with ease and poured her a big red glass of liquid courage. 

They talked until they couldn't manage a coherent sentence any longer. Gemma plugged in her iPod, and Louis tried his hardest to show off his dance moves. It wasn't pleasant, but they were too drunk to care. 

It was a look they exchanged that really iced the cake. The way Louis' blue eyes peered into her soul, the way her lips pursed as they stared lovingly into each other. Gemma was the first to make a move, she pulled his hips into her body, attached their lips and that's where it all began. 

A mess of clothes at the foot of Louis' king sized bed later, two tangled bodies lost in the sheets, two messy heads of hair, and toes that wriggled against the mattress. 

It was a memory filled with giggles, naked fumbling around as they explored each other for the first time. The bruise against Louis' shoulder, where Gemma had slipped, knocking her teeth against the skin. They'd touched every inch, felt every crevasse, every feeling was on fire. 

This wasn't their first time, but it was their first time together. It wasn't what they'd expected. Gemma had figured Louis would have planned something out, Louis assumed they'd just lead up to it after snogging for hours. They didn't like the fact that Louis' sister was responsible for their first time, but the way they were tangled up together now, that didn't even matter. 

"I love you." Louis whispered as he ran his fingers through her hair, thinking about the night before, thinking about how it all made him feel. He wasn't thinking with his penis now, he was thinking with his heart, his soul, his mind. This was how he felt, this was how he's been feeling for a while now. 

Gemma rolled over, her body nearly fitting atop of his. She pressed lazy kisses against his skin, smiling as she pulled away to look him in the eye. "That's kind of lucky, considering I love you back." She told him with a little snort. 

Louis took hold of her hands and laughed himself, their lips met in a messy morning kiss, and well it felt kind of perfect really. That's how it felt for now, Louis knew this feeling wouldn't last forever, but he was going to hold onto it for a while yet.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry for the long wait. Hope you enjoy. Let me know what you think!

@GemmaAnneStyles: Happy Chappy 

It always amazed Gemma how quickly her words could be out there into the world. Seconds after sending that simple two worded tweet, she was flooded with hateful messages, amongst the kind words of followers saying they were happy for her now. It was almost strange to her seeing how many people cared so deeply about her personal life, both positively and negatively. She swung her legs around the side of her bed and stumbled her way towards her bathroom. It had been three weeks since she'd last seen Louis, but he was coming home, for the long run now. The tour was over, and things were going to settle down for the next few months. This also meant she'd be able to spend more time with her brother, who she missed just as much.

 

The warm water sprayed over her naked body, sending away the shivers that had plagued her since she left her protective blanket cocoon. It had been a while since she'd shaved her legs, or taken any care towards beautifying herself. She knew Louis didn't give a shit, but she still wanted to be able to greet him with smooth legs, even if she missed a few patches as she often did. Her short blonde locks didn't take long to wash, and her attention was soon solely on hair removal. It was a chore and a half but she felt like it was worth it by the time her smooth legs were slipping through her jeans, making her feel her self esteem blowing through the roof.

 

As years passed, the welcoming committee at the airport dwindled into one or two loved ones, sometimes none. It was safer that way, which was why Gemma opted to wait in the car, she was there to pick up both her boyfriend and her brother, which was surely going to start up the rumour mill. It didn't matter to her what strangers on the internet thought of her situation, she'd seen it all, the death threats, the photoshopped edits of her in attempts to sabotage her character. It was nasty, but none of that mattered when she saw two very tired faces of the men walking towards her, bodyguards were working overtime to keep photographers from agitating either one of the pop stars, and in turn keep her out of the drama.  
Harry was the first one to open one of the back doors. He had already loaded his luggage into the boot, and now sat beside his older sister, who was squished up in the middle, legs pushed up against her chest. "How was Australia?" She questioned, resting her beanie covered head against one of his broad shoulders. Harry didn't speak at first, he rubbed his tired eyes and tried to hide the yawn that was taking over him. "Fucking hot." He answered simply, hand resting against her knee. She knew better than to try and pull another answer from him in his jet lagged state. Louis was soon sitting on her other side, slamming the door closed after himself.

 

The elder of the two males had dosed himself with coffee, an attempt at keeping himself awake enough to spend time with his girlfriend. The contrast between the two made Gemma smirk to herself, as if they weren't already entirely different people to begin with, this was just plain amusing to her. "Hey love." Louis breathed out, giving himself a chance to warm up in the backseat before he was leaning over to kiss her cheek. His lips felt cold against her skin, but the texture of his stubble made her shiver more than the cold feeling had.

 

"You're rather perky this morning." She said teasingly, looking down at their linked hands. Her chipped nail polish didn't look so out of place next to his roughly cut nails, they were quite the pair.  
"You're not going to start snogging are you?" Harry asked, his voice filled with complaint. He hadn't bothered to look up from where he was still leaning against Gemma. He hadn't slept on the plane, not enough to count anyway. He felt like exhaustion was going to take out at any moment, and it made him grumpy, a trait that was his least cute.

 

Gemma rolled her eyes and placed her other hand down against his larger one. "Is that all you think about?" She asked him, unsurprisingly receiving silence as an answer.

Harry was crashing at her flat for a few days before he intended on heading home to spend a few weeks with their parents, it was crowded with the three of them, but it wasn't the first time they'd had to share a small space, it was almost as if they were back in the boys' old flat, when she would come and visit. It was different this time, Harry crashed on her couch before any other arrangements could be made. Louis didn't intend on staying the night, wanted to give the siblings some space, spend a night in his own bed. It didn't work out like that though, it never really went the way they planned it to. He was soon asleep on her mattress, after a long nonsense filled chat that started to make less and less sense as Louis moved faster towards falling asleep.

 

She left the two sleepyheads for a few hours, boredom took over her as she realised staying at home wasn't going to be all that fun. She knew the drill, it could take a few days before either one of them were back to their normal selves, and there wasn't much she could do about it. Which was why she was overjoyed when Krystal was free, she rode the tube across town, ignored everyone who dared to give her any attention on the way. She had grown rather aware of what people around her did lately, the constant twitter spams had made her realise that she could no longer fade in and out of life, her face was recognisable for many reasons, but the most recent reason was her face being plastered across gossip tabloids, made her feel like the whole world was watching.

 

When she walked in through the café doors, large sunglasses still covering the majority of her face, Krystal couldn't help but tease her over it straight away. The paranoia drained instantly from her body, she felt safe being around a familiar face, someone who cared about her long before the tabloids did.

 

It had been such a long time since she'd felt like herself. It had been a crazy couple of weeks, weeks that had drained every ounce of energy out of her. It started the last time Louis had flown home to visit her and his family. Harry had opted to shoot over to LA, so it had been even longer since she'd seen her one and only brother. It had been a great couple of days, lounging around in her flat, keeping each other company like they always did. The drama happened when they'd ventured outside together. It had been a typical date night, or as typical as it could get when you were dating a pop star.

 

It started with dinner, which went off without a single hitch. They'd laughed, talked, had a great time in each other's presence. The restaurant had been void of guests, it felt like they were the only ones around given the time. The early meal had been so they could make it to the Ed Sheeran concert they'd been given last minute tickets to. It was smooth sailing for the most part, after they'd found their seats it hadn't taken long before the concert had started, again things seemed to go off without a hitch. A few people had recognised them, she'd caught glimpses of people trying to take sneaky snapshots on their phones. Louis had declined taking photos with fans, but that didn't mean fans didn't take photos of them anyway. For the most part both of them were used to it, people had been sneaking pictures of them for years. This was slightly different, given the new status of their relationship it was a lot harder to find privacy outside of the safety of their own homes.

 

By the time the concert had come to a close, the rush to get out of the venue had turned into madness. Gemma had a firm grip on Louis' hand, but it wouldn't stop the abuse being yelled at them from across the street. As they stood outside waiting for their car to pick them up, a group of girls started snickering and yelling out rude things from across the street. Gemma would have normally ignored it, given herself time to compose an eloquent twitter rant to get her frustrations out. Louis had a different approach, one that she'd never really witness first hand before. He removed his arm from around her waist, and stepped away from where she was standing with their security, he curled his hand around his mouth in an attempt to make his voice louder. "Get some fucking manners!" He called out to the group, causing the girls to stop in their tracks, a few were still giggling as if they couldn't believe this was happening, that he was noticing them, negatively or not.

 

"Have some fucking respect. I'm trying to go out with my girlfriend and you're being fucking rude!" He added afterwards, once he realised they weren't trying to fight him on his first call out. One of the girls didn't seem to care that she'd been called out on being out of line, the others in the group seemed to get the message, one even asked Louis if he hated them, he shook his head and turned towards Gemma to check to see if she was okay.

 

The bold girl took this as her chance to rile him up again. "Not like she's your real girlfriend!" She called out to him, causing Louis to turn around in a quick flash. He was enraged by this and started walking across the road to where the girls were standing. "The fuck you say?" He questioned. He had no intention of making this physical, just wanted to intimidate the girl into realising what she said wasn't okay.  
There was more yelling, they exchanged curse words back and forth. Gemma had no idea where this girl had gotten her confidence from, it was admirable in the worst way possible. She could never say such things out loud, yet there this stranger was spewing shit to Louis like a troll would on twitter. Her friends were walking away in shame, not intending on things going this far. Louis started walking away, he was getting angered and Gemma knew that meant he needed to cool down, choosing to walk away must have been hard on him, but it didn't take him long before he was taking hold of her hand again.

 

If things had ended like that, maybe it wouldn't have been so bad, only it didn't. The next morning when she woke up, her phone was flooded with text messages, friends sending their support, wondering how she was holding up. She's mostly forgotten all about the incident, her body being wrapped around Louis' underneath her sheets was enough to bring her back to the good portions of her reality.

 

Twitter was a mess, publications had somehow gotten their hands on a video of the whole exchange, and things were incredibly messy. She was thankful that things hadn't gone too far, that her boyfriend hadn't said anything he regretted, or this girl hadn't done any further damage. The world was now aware of everything that had happened, and her relationship was now the centre of a media circus.

 

Luckily sitting down in that café, Krystal understood that her friend didn't want any of that drama mentioned. She knew what her friend needed, and that was what she intended on giving her. The whole outing had made Gemma feel more like herself, left her in high spirits as she made her way home, back to the two sleeping males she loved more than anything.

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it, let me know!


End file.
